TOP 5 GEEK CULTURE CRUSHES
Secret origin time. I had the idea for this blog very early on when Language of Bromance asked me to write for the website. But I hesitated on how best to present it. Of course I don’t want to be viewed as a vulgar sexiest as a result of people reading this. It is after all a bit of fun. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know I’m all for strong female characters and creators. So I ask you please don’t view this as a Wizard Magazine style piece of TnA.
Sheesh! Deciding the final five was tough. As my list will tell you. When I started recalling my tastes over the years and my deeper involvement in geek culture this kind of became more an analysis of myself! If for example I had done this list after my first tastes of geek culture it would solely have been from 80s’ and 90’s cartoons. We all had that phase right? And if you most know Cheetara, April O’Neil, Rogue, She-Ra and Gloria Baker. This was followed by a WWE Divas phase… Naturally. In no particular order Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson, Lita, Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly. With the dawn of the internet I can easily (perhaps too easily) list five porn stars I regularly sought out. Lezley Zen, Nicole Aniston, Priya Rai, Jasmine Jae and Paige Ashley for those keeping count. Then there are those who maintain longevity when it comes to peoples laminated top five. Jennifer Aniston, Beyonce and Heidi Klum spring to mind. Lastly there are some breakouts in geek culture who just missed the cut and it was very close for Gal Gadot and Simone Missick respectively.
5 (B) Hayden Panettiere as Claire Bennet
Heroes was the Game of Thrones of its day. Well the first season at least. It was huge! It dominated convention floors all over the world. At the centre of the story was the indestructible Claire Bennet. A lot of you are probably thinking I have made a terrible error already. Claire was in high school! She was fifteen! But let me climb out of this pit I’m digging. Hayden Panettiere was eighteen playing younger and I was twenty one when it air, so a much smaller gap. Don’t tell me the writers weren’t playing the sex appeal card when the main female character was a cheerleader. Saying “Save the cheerleader, save the world” out loud not only made you feel heroic but also had a touch of romance attached. The way Hayden would stand and stare and look all heroic was dam alluring stuff. In her very first scene she jumps from a height, gets back up and resets a broken arm, looks into the camera with her signature heroic gaze delivers the line “This is Claire Bennet. That was attempt number six.” All complete in full cheerleader get up. That scene alone was enough to qualify for this list.
5 (A) Cobie Smulders as Robin Scherbatsky and Maria Hill
The Canadian beauty makes the list for two reasons. Firstly for those who feel uncomfortable with 5 (B) can skip straight to 5(A). Secondly I ask you, could you look at her smile and leave her off? Didn’t think so! When I first saw How I Met Your Mother I was hungover, possibly feeling bitter and therefore felt TV was mocking me. Robin Scherbatsky is perfect girlfriend material. The type of girlfriend you only get from the fiction of TV. She likes sports, watches Star Wars, can quote Ghostbusters at will. Plus did I mention the smile? Without HIMYM she would not have been on my radar when she stepped into the role of Maria Hill. The two roles are poles apart. Robin is the fun loving girl next door whilst Maria Hill is all business. The S.H.I.E.L.D body suit, the shorter hair its a look she makes work for her. Like Claire Bennet it is a role where a look can say a thousands words and make me weak at the knees. In Captain America The Winter Solider Hill has her Boushh moment and owns it. Kicking ass, saving Cap and ending it with a look. Cobie Smulders, she certainly does.
I found it hard to separate these two. So I bottled making a decision and included them both. Looking at the evidence there are similarities between the two. Lets start with Catwoman. Talk about longevity. She was added to the original Batman comic in 1940 as Kane and Finger wanted their stories to have sex appeal. Catwoman represents a lot of geeks first crush on a villain. In modern comics she is more of a morally grey character and that adds to the appeal too. Catwoman is arguably Batmans female equal, even seen as his one weakness. As she has been around for seventy odd years Selina Kyle spans different media. Every generation of geeks has their Catwoman. From Eartha Kitt and Julie Newmar to the recent Anne Hathaway. Each brining something different to the role. In comics Darwyn Cookes rendition is not only an appealing aesthetic but also a strong female lead. His series with Ed Brubaker was Selina at her strongest. For me Michelle Pfeiffer is my Catwoman. I must have been seven or eight when I saw Batman Returns. It wasn’t till later in life I realised what that feeling was when Pfeiffer slipped into that vinyl outfit. The Batman The Animated Series version is a close second. She was of coursed voiced by eighties geek sex symbol Adrienne Barbeau. Selina Kyle in BTAS was feisty. I remember the episode where she flirted with Nightwing. As a Nightwing fan I thought I had a chance with someone like Selina?
Moving onto Elektra. The Greek assassin has always been my go to when asked who my favourite female character is. This comes from my love of Daredevil. Like Catwoman she is the male leads equal. I agree with Frank Miller and question why Daredevil would bother with anyone else when Elektra is his perfect match. Elektra is the kind of women who appeals to a guys bad side. In her signature red outfit it is very close to dancing with the devil. Even though she can kick ass and look good doing it there is a vulnerability to her. You want to help her. I will always have a soft spot for Jennifer Garner. She was the go to action girl of the 00’s. But not only have Netflix raised the bar when it comes to story telling, they have raised the bar for their portrayal of Elektra. Elodie Yung played the role with such charisma. When she was on screen she was like a magnet. The perfect blend of flirtatious and dangerous. So much of the performance was in the eyes and with the voice. Okay it wasn’t remotely Greek but it felt right for this version of the character. Elektra solo series on Netflix? Yes please! No dialogue just Elodie Yung doing an internal monologue for her story of redemption and revenge.
3 Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully
Special Agent Dana Scully was the strong female lead of the 90’s and early 00’s. For two hundred and eight episodes she was front and centre each week. Anderson never left to pursue a film career! Scully possessed brains and beauty. Funny and sassy came at the flick of a switch. Rarely if ever was she the damsel in distress. If ever it was only in the comedic episodes and only for yuks. The Scully voice should be in the dictionary. Voices are a go to feature for me. It’s hard to describe it. Authoritative when talking science, deadpan in comedic delivery. All with a touch of seduction. I’ll admit the attraction was a slow burn. I think with my tastes maturing is what resulted in her inclusion. That and FBI dress code was a bit dour. In recent years she has been on TV frequently on both sides of the pond and its obvious to see at forty eight Gillian Anderson looks fantastic. With her recent appearances on British TV she has often been blonde and using a British accent. Early this year The X-Files returned. The red hair returned, the Scully voice returned and I was a happy geek.
- Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow
Without being at the centre of geek culture in the MCU Avengers movies Johansson would probably make most laminated top fives. She can act, model and sing. Again the voice! It’s hands down the sexiest in Hollywood right now, if not ever. Have you heard her sing The Cures ‘Boys Don’t Cry’? Brilliant. It appeals to my indy side. So even if she wasn’t Natasha Romanoff I would have got her on the list. The Avengers is not Johansson’s first ventures into geek culture Ghostworld, Eight Legged Freaks. The Spirit she is the best thing in that movie. Even making a German army uniform look attractive! It’s hard to imagine anyone else in the role, or even someone else ever being considered. Scarlett Johansson is Black Widow. I picture her coming to the audition ready with red hair and body suit! Being the only female without powers means nothing to Johansson. She brings it in every scene. How is there not a Black Widow solo movie? I’ve mentioned how Scarlett possess a sexy voice, as Natasha Romanoff she dials up the sexy. It’s a simple trick of lowering the level and talking slower. Man I could listen to Natasha speak spy all day long. Bonus know one is forgetting those leaked nude snaps in a hurry either.
- Willa Holland as Thea ‘Speedy’ Queen
Thea Queen makes the list as a testament to good writing as well as her good looks. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. In the first two seasons I could not care less for the character of Thea. I thought she was so one dimensional and I wouldn’t have cared if she was killed off. Then season 3 happened. Firstly she gained geek points for living in Corto Maltese. Secondly she was sporting a new sassy hair style. It made her look more mature and suited the development of her character. Lastly she was learning to kick ass. At the end of the season she took Roy’s Red costume and certainly wore it better. Upon fully joining Team Arrow Thea gained a certain swagger. Only she could get away with carrying a bow and a sword and look good whilst doing it. Her blood lust maybe appeal to certain fetishist, for me it just showed Holland’s acting range. My highlights if season four were her really cutting loose on henchmen. My heart sunk when she said she was leaving the team (spoiler). If she is not in season five full time I might have to stop watching. Again there is appeal in her voice. I think its something she does for the role of Thea either way it works for me.
Okay this post is now become more of a character assassination on myself! I’m nearly thirty and have just admitted to crushing on a character from a TV show! Oh well the damage is done and hopefully I’ll be taking some of you with me. Check my Twitter (ianwells87) where I have been asking a range of people who their first geek culture crush was.
About Ian Wells
Ian currently runs the THEBLOGOFCOMICSHOTTOPICS blog. Check him out on Twitter @IanWells87.
About Language of Bromance
Together Richard and Shawn formed the podcast The Language of Bromance and from there it has been nothing but fun. The duo laugh about things they go through, stories in the news and even getting serious discussing net neutrality along with other issues. Every so often their friendship turns to a bitter rivalry with their nerdiest creation the draft episodes. An original take on a best of or a top 10 list. The draft episodes are done like an NFL Draft 7 rounds where Richard and Shawn flip-flop picks on various topics.
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